• What do Men & Women think about during a Blowjob


    The difference in thinking!!

    12 Things Men Think While Receiving a Blow Job

    Honestly, 90 percent of the time we're just thinking, "Please do something with my balls," and, "Awesome," but let's get weird with the other 10 percent.


    1. Yeah, she's about to put my penis in her mouth. OK, play it cool, don't force it. Just let it happen. OK, YEAH, I AM GETTING A BLOW JOB THIS IS AMAZING THIS IS THE BEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE I'M GOING TO CALL MY FAMILY (I'M NOT ACTUALLY GOING TO CALL MY FAMILY).

    2. Wait, can she see my butthole right now? What does it look like? I'm realizing I've never seen my own butthole and it's kind of freaking me out. I'm going to get a mirror after this and check it out. No, I'm not. I'm going to leave this one a mystery.

    3. What does my penis taste like?

    4. This is great, but it would be better if I pulled at her hair really hard and started mouth-fucking her brains out. Oh, it doesn't look like she likes it. That's weird. I don't understand why.

    5. Do you remember that time your dog got really sick, and you had to put it to sleep, and the way it — WHY ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW YOU ARE LITERALLY GETTING A BLOW JOB.

    6. Am I taking too long? No, probably not. I'm sure she doesn't mind.

    7. *High-fiving self in my own mind. Two of me are running toward each other in an open field, Sound of Music-style, high-fiving the fuck out of each other.*

    8. She's really good at this. Wait, is she too good at this? No. No, she is just the right amount of good at this.

    9. I sort of feel like I have to come, but I don't want to tell her too early and have her stop. No, I'm definitely going to come. Tell her! OK, wait, no — I don't have to come yet. Alright, dude, you just yelled "I'mgonnac—" and stopped yourself by turning it into a weird grunt/moan hybrid. I don't think she noticed.

    10. Ok, now I'm really going to come. I have to make sure I say it really sexy, though. I don't want to ruin the mood. Ok, great. I said it and I think that sounded like a robot voice but at least she knows.

    11. Oh, awesome. She swallowed it. NO, DON'T TRY AND KISS ME.

    12. I'm going to sleep.


    &

    14 Things The Average Woman Thinks While Giving a Blowjob

    1. Okay, Penis. Let's do this. Let's go. I'm ready to Win at This Blowjob.

    2. I’m kind of grossed out by the noises my own mouth is making but YOLO.

    3. It’s fine that you want to pull the hair out of my face in order to watch me do this but — OW — my hair is caught on your watch — OW. OW. FUCK.

    4. So like, can we have sex yet, or... oh, okay, we're just doing this until the end. Cool. Good to know.

    5. Am I supposed to be doing some kind of testicle magic? Can I just like, touch one for a sec? Does that count as magic?

    6. There, I touched it. #thugsnapz to me. 

    7. It feels like it’s been 40 minutes but in blowjob time that’s realistically probably like seven minutes. If I can just turn my head to see what time— ow ow ow my neck ow owww.

    8. Oh shit, I have to DVR Pretty Little Liars.

    9. Maybe I can be one of those people with no gag reflex! 

    10. No. No, I cannot.

    11. There is so much spit happening. There's going to be an awkward wet spot on the bed. 

    12. It won’t be that bad. I’ve done it so many times. Just tastes like a mix of pennies and nothing! No big deal!

    13. Haha, why is there so much of it? There are so many false endings to this ejaculation, it's like a Judd Apatow movie. Like, how is it still coming out? 

    14. BECAUSE I WIN AT BLOWJOBS, MUHFUCKER. That's how.

    Both lists come from Cosmopolitan:

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