• King JCobra featured on Nerve

    Get Hypnotized By This $220K Cobra Gentleman's Ring

    It's solid platinum.


    If you're like me, you're a wealthy hedonist who gets off on extravagance as much as sex. Boy oh boy, does AHANoir have the cockring for us. The just-launched sex toy boutique from the team behind ultrahip luxury e-retailer AHALife is selling a $220,000 king cobra-shaped platinum cockring. AHANoir calls it a gentleman's ring, and it certainly is only for gentlemen. For the more budget-conscious buyer, there's a $155,000 yellow gold edition (which is the only one pictured). There's also a $15,000 silver version, which, ugh, gross. Don't let that piece of trash anywhere near my penis, you feel me? Silver is for peasants. A gold cobra is okay for Limp Bizkit, but for me it's platinum or nothing.

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