• Desire a key ingredient for love relationships


    When Jelle offered me the possibility to talk about the Desire app at Velv’Or website I felt grateful and I thought, that I could start talking about desire itself. What it means and why it’s important for a love relationship, why we want it and why we strive for having it in our relationship.

    Someone that, from my point of view, describes and explains great about desire is Esther Perel, so I am going to copy-paste here a piece of her writing where she talks about love and desire. It’s from one of the best books I have ever read, Mating in Captivity. She differentiates between love and desire and how we ask for both to our lover.

    “Love enjoys knowing everything about you; desire needs mystery. Love likes to shrink the distance that exists between me and you, while desire is energized by it. If intimacy grows through repetition and familiarity, eroticism is numbed by repetition. It thrives on the mysterious, the novel, and the unexpected. Love is about having; desire is about wanting. An expression of longing, desire requires ongoing elusiveness. It is less concerned with where it has already been than passionate about where it can still go. But too often, as couples settle into the comforts of love, they cease to fan the flame of desire. They forget that fire needs air.”

    How do we keep the desire alive in our love relationship? It’s not a question easy to answer. I would say that it takes work and play, it’s something you build. You need to be able to give air to the fire in order for it to grow. There are a lot of things you can do to grow the desire and I believe time and games are a key thing.

    Three years ago we built a game for couples called DESIRE (available for free at Google Play and at the

    AppStore). It is a gamification of the relationship a way for couples to have fun and create great memories together. Desire is a game that offers mystery, that creates unexpected and new situations inside the relationship. We like playing and we love eroticism, so we created a smart game for couples that like to enjoy each other and discover new things together. Up to today, around 1M users have downloaded and play Desire.

    Give it a try!

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